It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
