There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
