oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
