Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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