There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
