dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
