That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
