your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
