Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
