i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
