did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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