I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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