Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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