How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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