is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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