You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
