im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
