I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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