were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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