How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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