I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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