Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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