I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Umm I'm too high to move.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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