You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
