my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
