Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
