ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
