I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
