why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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