I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
