He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
