I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
