Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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