Pappa wants mamma naked
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
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