Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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