No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
