after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
