U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
