im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
