apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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