piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
