I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize