I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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