Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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