oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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