you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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