I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize