My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
