You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
