Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
