Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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