need another drink. this is the easiest way
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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