I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize