i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
