he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize