so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
