why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
