Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize