I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
