oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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