Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
In America we eat man semen.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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