Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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