Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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