Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
okay pat passed out under dana's car
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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