was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
