careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
