You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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