I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
