i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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