You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
