I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
